There's a dread that grips me every time I find myself driving with less than half a tank of gas through (rarely to) the Garden State.
Don't run out of gas, don't run out of gas, please please please.
For the uninitiated: The State of New Jersey doesn't let you pump your own gas. Like, it is illegal and gas stations can incur fines if they're caught letting people do it. I mean can you imagine — drivers getting out of their vehicles putting gasoline in their own tanks? What is this, every other state in America? And most places around the world?
And now, Jersey is officially the only state in the union to have this rule, since Oregon joined the 21st century and lifted its ban on self-service stations last week.
Now, you might be thinking the good people of New Jersey have some reason for this, like, I dunno, it benefits workers or the gas station industry in some way. But you'd be wrong.
The industry actually hates it, especially in the past few years when hiring gas station attendants has been difficult. Industry groups regularly lobby for it to be repealed.
So if it's not for workers, who's it for, exactly?
The answer is a broken people.
As my colleague Nathaniel Meyersohn writes: "New Jersey's self-service ban, along with the state's reputation for lower gas prices than its neighbors, is part of its culture."
Yes, Jersey culture is why I sometimes have to pull into a gas station, roll down my window, hand my credit card to a nice attendant who always smiles at my dog, and suffer the indignity of having someone put fuel in my gas tank. (Honestly: Is the process unpleasant? No, not usually. But stick with me...)
"Jersey Girls Don't Pump Gas," proclaims a popular bumper sticker in the state. (Because when your only other cultural touchstones are Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino and highways with dumb little loop-de-loops designed to flummox outsiders, you brag about gas station service.)
The ban on self-service dates to 1949, a time when gas stations used to make their money by offering more complex services such as oil and battery checks and basic repairs. As self-service took off across America, full-service station owners began playing up safety hazards, arguing that untrained drivers would overfill their tanks and start a fire. By 1968, putting fuel in your own car was banned in 23 states.
Of course, times and technologies changed, and by the early 90s, most gas stations were self-service. We've all agreed as a society not to smoke cigarettes or leave our engines running while we do this, and it's been going pretty well.
But the Jerz is holding out, and it's not likely to change anytime soon.
The state's governor, Phil Murphy, actually called the self-service question "sort of a political third rail in New Jersey." And a Monmouth University poll last year showed that 60% of New Jersey residents oppose a policy that would allow stations to go fully self-service.
"Being the last full-service-only state in the country seems to be a source of pride for many New Jerseyans," said Patrick Murray, director of Monmouth's polling institute.
Ah, Jersey. Bless your weird little heart.
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